Dear Mistress Violet,
I want to thank you for an exceptional experience on Friday. As discussed there were so many memorable moments, but one in particular stands out - that moment when I was on the medical table and you aggressively put your hand over my mouth then pushed me down as you inflicted a horrendous and torturous act on me. I can’t and don’t wish to rid that moment from my memory.
As I reflect further, the session was not only ceremonial in its structure but there were distinct resonances with a novel, play or symphony; I’m calling it “Torture in Five Acts."
The first part felt like an introduction of what was to come - slowly warming my body’s senses, dropping me into the mindset. Both an entry and a warning.
Act II took place in the Vac Bed, unfolding the most sensuous torture, making me long for more, increasing my desire and capacity to receive everything and anything from you. I recall involuntarily begging you to take all of my body. I truly felt that.
Then came the medical table, the mad doctor, the experimental torture scene. We’ve already gone over much of this but I felt so exposed as you tightly strapped me down; it was wonderful and terrifying at the same time. And then so much followed I could write forever. It was only near the end that I began to let go and even feel tears form from the constant pain.
This was followed by a shorter but no less torturous shower act, where the sensual and experimental were brought together in a crescendo and climax in new forms of sadism. You wearing construction goggles as you pressed duct tape over my mouth, just made it all the better as the uncertainty rose over what you were about to do. The pain, the blood, all amazing.
Finally, there was the last, disciplinary scene that had calming elements that were short but just as severe with the very swift and extremely painful caning to end it all.
I discovered new vulnerabilities and new interests - all of which you are definitely allowed to exploit much further in the future. To not worry about my winces of pain but amplyfing them as we connect on a deep level, taking me even further.
My body is fine and healing very quickly. Overall, just thanks.
Thank you for your note. I also wish to thank you for allowing me to run with my creativity, and plan and play as freely as I wished. I have been engaging in longer scenes of late, and I saw our session as an opportunity to tune into all of the things that I have been learning, and what I already know about you.
I mentioned this to you but you truly are an authentic masochist; you may not quite understand how rare that is. Since I have known you, you have pushed me to become a more skilled and more intense sadist, on both the physical and psychological level. It is a treat to be able to inflict pain on you. There is a freedom that I have discovered in being terribly mean, callous, and uncaring as I deliver blows, cut away at flesh, and penetrate you until you bleed, until your screams fill my ears. Occupying the position of “not caring” is raw and powerful but needs to be approached with caution.
I love the five acts you described in your email. That is a perfect way to put it! Each stage was an approximation to something final, each scene brought us closer to the end goal. Each act was a different incarnation of myself as Domme, and you as a sub.
The initial rape was titillating for me. The sling was bloody and especially thrilling in the way you responded to the electrical device. The vac bed was animalistic and aesthetically pleasing; I wanted to draw your entire body into mine, make it somehow disappear, sublimate you to my Being. I felt very raw as I drew my tongue over your latex-encased face, my pelvis was on fire. The medical room is my absolute favourite, and it was only here that I felt you reach the end of your tether. If you felt contempt or hate, I deserved it. And knowing that you did would please me, because you had no recourse to changing anything… The staple gun turned out to be far more erotic than I had imagined. I felt so close to you as I pushed the staples into your skin, and I felt the need to slow down rather than speed up. It was beautiful. The final stage was experimental for me as I have never done anything quite like that scene before; disciplinarian, strict, domestic, pedantic, cold. I perhaps had the most fun planning that one - the head fuck of making you tweeze 100 body hairs, followed by the searing pain of the cane. All of it was delicious, all of it had it’s own challenges; yours was to endure and accept, mine to inflict and also to accept.
I’m glad to hear that your body is healing well, and I do look forward to exploiting you further at some future occasion.
Dear Mistress Violet,
Yes, I understand exactly what you mean and it resonates deeply with me. I find that I am drawn deeply into your sadistic nature because of how you appreciate sadism on both physical and psychological levels. You are incredibly articulate and this comes through in how you express your sadistic nature in so many various and complex ways from how you cut my flesh and invade me, to the use of implements on my body, to the animalistic sensuality of your body and tongue. It makes me want to go much deeper into your world and discover more of what you want to do to me, no matter the level of pain and suffering or control over my body. There is always this deep juxtaposition of sadism and sensuality in everything you do even if there is blood dripping on me.
I also felt contempt and hate for you during the end of our time on the medical table. I wanted to scream obscenities at you while telling you to stop. Of course, the best part was knowing that I was helpless to change the course of events and that you would do as you please. Yes, the medical stapler and how you used it was amazing, punctuated by your comment about how you would keep going until it was empty and then discovering that it wasn’t empty “oh too bad”. This theme flowed so well into the use of the industrial staple gun again in the shower.
I find that I tend to be very analytical about sessions, always wondering whether it will meet expectations and hoping things go in certain ways. With you this has never been an issue and I have been trying to let go, knowing that you always seem to have amazing discoveries for me. I think I am at the point of just knowing that I should surrender to you and let it all happen and unfold as you wish.
So yes please start thinking about Part Deux (maybe not the best expression). I think we try for 4 hours again and I want you to be as free as possible. While it may not have appeared so, at all times I was fine. So there is no need to worry about me or whether things might be going to far. I know that I will wonder why make these suggestions but I truly mean it. I trust you in this regard but I also want you to feel completely free so I get to discover what is inside of you. I want to be completely spent so I am just accepting what you offer, hopefully you know what I mean.
Anyway, let's think about possibilities for the new year. In the meantime have a great rest of the year and we will definitely see you in 2019.
*dispatches from Toronto